sleepy.

Sleep is overrated.
Today I had work at 4am and I will be here until 12 in the afternoon.

Its a typical saturday morning for me.

But today is different...last night instead of vital zzz's I went and saw Terminator 2 in an insane theater in new Jersey.

Totally worth it.

To give you an idea, here is the bathroom:

And Again:

And again:

Time

Eerie isn't it.
I correlate this to the most empty feeling in the world.
Imagine feeling nothing when there is so much love in your heart.
Imagine wanting to dance but not remembering why it's supposed to feel free.
Imagine being trapped in your own head.

I can't relate to that...but I can relate to the most empty feeling in the world.
It's called alone and I wish it on nobody.
There is so much love in my heart, and I feel every bit of the distance.
which is worse?

Livin Life

Yes...just like that. Oddly symbolic no?

Look at me, Look at me

I am changing

Trying every way I can

I am changing

I'll be better than I am

I'm trying to find a way to understand

But I need you, I need you

I need a hand

I am changing

Seeing everything so clear

I am changingI'm gonna start right now, right here

I'm hoping to work it out

And I know that I can

But I need you, I need a hand

~~~~~~~~

All of my life I've been a fool

Who said I can do it all alone?

How many good friends have I already lost?

How many dark nights have I known?

Walking down that wrong road

There was nothing I could find

All those years of darkness

Could make a person blind

But now I can see

~~~~~~~~

I am changing

Trying every way I can

I am changing

I'll be better than I am

But I need a friend

To help me start all over again,Oh

That would be just fine

I know it's gonna work out this time

'Cause this time I am

This time I amI am changing

I'll get my life together now

I am changing

Yes I know how

I'm gonna start again

I'm gonna leave my past behind

I'll change my life

I'll make a vow and nothings gonna stop me now

~ "Changing" Dreamgirls

False hopes aside, I'm enjoying this new outlook I have on everything...I am changing.

For a explanation of this...see the end of the post.

Life is funny.
I think someone up there is having fun messing with me.
But I'll ride along with it...who am I to fight the powers that be?
In other News...here are the latest from my painting class. These are color studies and the three that are a little abstract are supposed to be that way. We were not allowed to "paint the figure" only the colors around it. But i think I'm coming along...slowly but surely.








This is the first of my color studies...just making as many different shades as possible.
















This is the second...a little more deconstructed. ------->















In this one more of the figure is apparent



















This is the only black and white one from this week that i actually liked, another light study.












.




This is my favorite of the group because for one sitting we were simply given room to paint what we saw. The model is Bill, oil on gesso brown paper.












And one last comment to make...I was reading someone else's blog today and the picture posted up top of this entry was posted. I miss that time too...because it was the beginning and it was fun. I miss that a lot...almost as much as I miss how those cards would fall and leave holes.

The Last Lecture

As I prepare to graduate in the spring I have been making different preparations. One of these many plan making activities includes applying to become the Student Commencement Speaker, a great honor at Temple University. In so many ways it is my "Last lecture" in that it will be my last opportunity to address my class as a whole.

For no other reason other than my love of creative non-fiction I picked up a copy of Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture". This was his final testament to his children as he was slowly dying of Pancreatic Cancer. The book outlines his process of coming to terms with life, and really how life should be lived, to the fullest. It was incredibly helpful as it really helped me craft my own lecture...now i simply have to write it.

Randy was an inspiration, and has done what he set out to do, leave a mark. I just want to leave a mark on this place...on these people.

"Somehow with the passage of time, and the deadlines that life imposes, surrendering became the right thing to do." ~Randy Pausch

I hope I am chosen.