Independant Woman

I have lost a few people in my life.
Each time it happens it's painful and changes you forever.
Loss takes many different forms, but death shows you how much your life means to everyone, especially if you have ever doubted how much others care for you.
Today I lost a wonderful woman who loved life, her children, her husband and being a strong independent woman.

She was stubborn, argumentative, and always in a rush.
Stubborn about putting everyone before herself...
Argumentative with those who didn't want to take advantage of her generosity...
and always in a rush to take someone somewhere...or help in any way she could.

Today I said goodbye and thought about all of the ways she used to say things.
I thought about how she spoke, how names sounded when she said them...
I thought about her life... and learned about the parts I never knew.
Today I mourned for the future of her children, and how hard life will be without their mother.

Today I said goodbye to a fiercely independent woman.
Rest in Peace Gail Wagner, you are loved and missed.

Ahead of the Curve

I've always tried to be a step ahead.
A beat before the rest, ready for whatever was coming.
But no matter how far ahead I may be, i always feel ten steps behind.
Especially as I see my peers succeed.

I'm proud to see those I worked with and admired get to the places they had been striving for, but as I watch I get hungrier and more annoyed that I'm just not there yet.
Many would say that I'm rushing...failing to enjoy the present when really I just crave relevance.
I don't see the relevance in wasting thousands of dollars to learn how to become a more "well rounded student."
Forgive me for my sarcasm, but I'd rather be working in the feild I've finished learning about then waste another year filling out elective credits.

Two days ago I became and Emmy Nominee, and while extremely exciting and incredible...I wish I was producing eligible stories myself, rather then helping others to succeed.
All in good time...I just prefer to be ahead of the curve.

Numbers

Ive always hated them.
Math and I started to disagree when it told me that numbers could appear in parts, and be divided by other numbers.
For some reason that blew my mind.
But then I realized...everything relates to numbers.

When you are raised in a house that believes in Disney and the morals that come with each of the ethnically diverse princesses, you assume one is the magic number.
One will come along and end all the saddness and begin a journey for you that could only be written in a story book.
It isn't until you have one that you realize that two could be that magic number.
Then two turns to three or four...when does the happy ending start?

I never liked math or numbers...in fact, I still hate them to this day.

Travel

I love to travel.
There is something about boarding a plane, train or driving a great distance in a car that keeps things unexpected.
The funny part about traveling for me is that I'll be equally excited no matter where I go.
Even if it's a city I've been to a hundred times before.

I'm a big sucker for bright lights and bustling streets...not so much for the long stretches of grassy land or growing corn fields.
Even though i've been going since 2:15 thismorning, I'm still excited to begin a 5 hour train adventure.
I guess its a break from the norm, a chance to be somewhere away from everything I'm comfortable with.
well...almost everything.

this work day will pass slowly...i can feel it.