"I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze, but I, I think maybe it's both. Maybe both is happening at the same time."
~Forrest Gump to Jenny Gump
I believe we make our own destiny. I love this movie.
I miss you.
I also love you. And no matter where you are right now in your head...I'm still here loving you.
But until a better day...I'll be ok knowing that.
1.9.08
9.8.08
Independant Woman
I have lost a few people in my life.
Each time it happens it's painful and changes you forever.
Loss takes many different forms, but death shows you how much your life means to everyone, especially if you have ever doubted how much others care for you.
Today I lost a wonderful woman who loved life, her children, her husband and being a strong independent woman.
She was stubborn, argumentative, and always in a rush.
Stubborn about putting everyone before herself...
Argumentative with those who didn't want to take advantage of her generosity...
and always in a rush to take someone somewhere...or help in any way she could.
Today I said goodbye and thought about all of the ways she used to say things.
I thought about how she spoke, how names sounded when she said them...
I thought about her life... and learned about the parts I never knew.
Today I mourned for the future of her children, and how hard life will be without their mother.
Today I said goodbye to a fiercely independent woman.
Rest in Peace Gail Wagner, you are loved and missed.
Each time it happens it's painful and changes you forever.
Loss takes many different forms, but death shows you how much your life means to everyone, especially if you have ever doubted how much others care for you.
Today I lost a wonderful woman who loved life, her children, her husband and being a strong independent woman.
She was stubborn, argumentative, and always in a rush.
Stubborn about putting everyone before herself...
Argumentative with those who didn't want to take advantage of her generosity...
and always in a rush to take someone somewhere...or help in any way she could.
Today I said goodbye and thought about all of the ways she used to say things.
I thought about how she spoke, how names sounded when she said them...
I thought about her life... and learned about the parts I never knew.
Today I mourned for the future of her children, and how hard life will be without their mother.
Today I said goodbye to a fiercely independent woman.
Rest in Peace Gail Wagner, you are loved and missed.
8.8.08
Ahead of the Curve
I've always tried to be a step ahead.
A beat before the rest, ready for whatever was coming.
But no matter how far ahead I may be, i always feel ten steps behind.
Especially as I see my peers succeed.
I'm proud to see those I worked with and admired get to the places they had been striving for, but as I watch I get hungrier and more annoyed that I'm just not there yet.
Many would say that I'm rushing...failing to enjoy the present when really I just crave relevance.
I don't see the relevance in wasting thousands of dollars to learn how to become a more "well rounded student."
Forgive me for my sarcasm, but I'd rather be working in the feild I've finished learning about then waste another year filling out elective credits.
Two days ago I became and Emmy Nominee, and while extremely exciting and incredible...I wish I was producing eligible stories myself, rather then helping others to succeed.
All in good time...I just prefer to be ahead of the curve.
A beat before the rest, ready for whatever was coming.
But no matter how far ahead I may be, i always feel ten steps behind.
Especially as I see my peers succeed.
I'm proud to see those I worked with and admired get to the places they had been striving for, but as I watch I get hungrier and more annoyed that I'm just not there yet.
Many would say that I'm rushing...failing to enjoy the present when really I just crave relevance.
I don't see the relevance in wasting thousands of dollars to learn how to become a more "well rounded student."
Forgive me for my sarcasm, but I'd rather be working in the feild I've finished learning about then waste another year filling out elective credits.
Two days ago I became and Emmy Nominee, and while extremely exciting and incredible...I wish I was producing eligible stories myself, rather then helping others to succeed.
All in good time...I just prefer to be ahead of the curve.
4.8.08
Numbers
Ive always hated them.
Math and I started to disagree when it told me that numbers could appear in parts, and be divided by other numbers.
For some reason that blew my mind.
But then I realized...everything relates to numbers.
When you are raised in a house that believes in Disney and the morals that come with each of the ethnically diverse princesses, you assume one is the magic number.
One will come along and end all the saddness and begin a journey for you that could only be written in a story book.
It isn't until you have one that you realize that two could be that magic number.
Then two turns to three or four...when does the happy ending start?
I never liked math or numbers...in fact, I still hate them to this day.
Math and I started to disagree when it told me that numbers could appear in parts, and be divided by other numbers.
For some reason that blew my mind.
But then I realized...everything relates to numbers.
When you are raised in a house that believes in Disney and the morals that come with each of the ethnically diverse princesses, you assume one is the magic number.
One will come along and end all the saddness and begin a journey for you that could only be written in a story book.
It isn't until you have one that you realize that two could be that magic number.
Then two turns to three or four...when does the happy ending start?
I never liked math or numbers...in fact, I still hate them to this day.
1.8.08
Travel
I love to travel.
There is something about boarding a plane, train or driving a great distance in a car that keeps things unexpected.
The funny part about traveling for me is that I'll be equally excited no matter where I go.
Even if it's a city I've been to a hundred times before.
I'm a big sucker for bright lights and bustling streets...not so much for the long stretches of grassy land or growing corn fields.
Even though i've been going since 2:15 thismorning, I'm still excited to begin a 5 hour train adventure.
I guess its a break from the norm, a chance to be somewhere away from everything I'm comfortable with.
well...almost everything.
this work day will pass slowly...i can feel it.
There is something about boarding a plane, train or driving a great distance in a car that keeps things unexpected.
The funny part about traveling for me is that I'll be equally excited no matter where I go.
Even if it's a city I've been to a hundred times before.
I'm a big sucker for bright lights and bustling streets...not so much for the long stretches of grassy land or growing corn fields.
Even though i've been going since 2:15 thismorning, I'm still excited to begin a 5 hour train adventure.
I guess its a break from the norm, a chance to be somewhere away from everything I'm comfortable with.
well...almost everything.
this work day will pass slowly...i can feel it.
27.7.08
The Day After
The day after I mastered a two-wheeler i felt invincible.
The day after that I fell on the curb.
The day after that I couldn't play until the streetlights went on, because I was still healing.
The day after that I was back on the bike.
How many times I fell off that bike.
But I never batted one eye.
I always got back on and rode a little bit further.
How far can you ride before you fall again?
The day after the first day of summer It was hot.
I rode my bike to work and chained it to the fence outside.
It rained and rained on the ride home...and when I got there I forgot that the ride back was horrible.
The weeks after that were rainy.
The day after I had a breakthrough I lost the game I was playing.
I took my luck for granted and fell again.
Life isn't as forgiving as a bike.
But i'll get back on again anyway.
The day after that I fell on the curb.
The day after that I couldn't play until the streetlights went on, because I was still healing.
The day after that I was back on the bike.
How many times I fell off that bike.
But I never batted one eye.
I always got back on and rode a little bit further.
How far can you ride before you fall again?
The day after the first day of summer It was hot.
I rode my bike to work and chained it to the fence outside.
It rained and rained on the ride home...and when I got there I forgot that the ride back was horrible.
The weeks after that were rainy.
The day after I had a breakthrough I lost the game I was playing.
I took my luck for granted and fell again.
Life isn't as forgiving as a bike.
But i'll get back on again anyway.
21.7.08
Horoscopes
Im Not a huge believer in horoscpes.
In fact, most days they are so wildly unrelatable i wonder who makes them up every day.
Today was different.
Capricorn: You must detach if you don't want to get caught in an emotional whirlwind. Messages get lost; intentions get mixed up. Anger comes in out of the blue. Ask questions and don't take someone for granted. Tonight: Hang out with a friend.
Another I checked...just cuz....
Take a deep breath and think before you decide what to do. You might wonder whether you should push a key project ahead. Lie back and evaluate for a while.
I must detach...im afraid once i do, Im gone for good.
In fact, most days they are so wildly unrelatable i wonder who makes them up every day.
Today was different.
Capricorn: You must detach if you don't want to get caught in an emotional whirlwind. Messages get lost; intentions get mixed up. Anger comes in out of the blue. Ask questions and don't take someone for granted. Tonight: Hang out with a friend.
Another I checked...just cuz....
Take a deep breath and think before you decide what to do. You might wonder whether you should push a key project ahead. Lie back and evaluate for a while.
I must detach...im afraid once i do, Im gone for good.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
